I spent my Saturday evening with family and neighbors playing a game called Balderdash. It was a lot of fun and the game was too. I say that because the game was secondary to spending quality time with people I love. Neighbors I had not spent more than five minutes talking to were there—people I knew only by the names of their dogs. One, an older woman, Diane, in a moment of vulnerability, told us that she considered not showing up because she was embarrassed by her medical problems, but pushed herself to go and was happy she did. We enjoyed spending time with her and she was lovely. We are all so busy, and taking those two hours to talk, eat, and just enjoy each other felt joyful.

Measuring Loneliness

A new research survey published in the Journal of the American Medical Association last year outlined that 33 percent of Americans aged 50-80 felt lonely “some of the time or often.” Another 29 percent reported feeling isolated “much of the time.”

These numbers are down from pandemic levels which held at 42 percent for those reporting loneliness during the pandemic and a high of 56 percent who reported isolation during the pandemic. Among those who reported loneliness 75 percent had poor mental or physical health. Those who reported isolation had nearly identical numbers as related to mental and physical health.

In 2021, a survey showed that those who reported loneliness were more likely to be part of a minority group, and have lower incomes; in a surprising finding, younger adults were twice as likely to be lonely versus older adults. A majority were receiving health benefits through Medicaid.

In this age of social networks, online platforms, and a greater technological connectedness than the world has ever seen, I find it astonishing that we are apparently, a lonely group of humans.

Defining Loneliness

While serving in his second term as the US surgeon general, physician Vivek Murthy has made combatting loneliness part of his platform. He details the stats and the fact that loneliness affects various groups of people.

What does loneliness mean? How do we define this term?

The dictionary defines lonely as:

Being without company: lone

Cut off from others: solitary

These words look stark to me: they even look lonely.

Isolation is defined as:

to set apart from others

also: quarantine

to select from among others

The word quarantine jumps out at me, as I am sure it does to you. Covid, quarantine, isolation, loneliness. These words seem to live together.

Identifying Loneliness as a Priority

Why should we care about loneliness?

Because loneliness can affect our teens, our parents, and our seniors. It can affect those on the margins of our society and those who appear the most healthy or successful. Murthy himself fought his own episode of loneliness following his first term as surgeon general. He shared that he had isolated himself from friends and families when he worked under the Obama administration, believing the hard work was worth the sacrifice of not staying connected. He quickly found it was not.

Mental Health Risks

Of course, there is a link to mental health disorders, as well, as the risks of anxiety and depression are higher in those who are lonely. This is a natural consideration.

However, there are medical risks to being lonely as well.

Murthy cites the following data as to why we should care about loneliness:

According to research, loneliness increases risks for serious medical conditions. Loneliness leads to a:

29 percent increased risks for heart disease

32 percent increased risk for stroke

As you see below, there are several other medical conditions at risk too-sleep, weight, and neurologic problems.

Additionally, there is a 50 percent increased risk for dementia in lonely individuals.

The dementia number caught my attention. Looking into this further, I found a study published in Nature Mental Health in October of 2024 that showed loneliness increased the risk for all-cause dementia, vascular dementia, Alzheimer’s, and cognitive impairment. Social interactions create and maintain brain pathways. Without social stimulation, neural connections down-regulate and are not maintained, leading to risks of cognitive impairment and skill loss.

Combatting Loneliness

Knowing how important this fight against loneliness is, what do we do to connect more? Murthy laid out what seem to be pretty simple ideas:

1. Reach out to friends and family on the phone or in person every day, even for 15 minutes. Make the contact authentic. Even if a brief call, the time you spend can be quality.

1. Avoid distractions when connecting with others. Put the phone down, and stop checking your email or news alerts. All that will be there later and the intrusion into your visit or call will reduce the meaningfulness of the conversation.

2. Consider volunteering or service to others. Murthy argues that redirecting focus off our own condition to care for another can be therapeutic for both people.

I can’t help but think that Balderdash game night should happen more often, too.