Who remembers seeing a teacher for the first time at a local supermarket? There might be some initial disorientation, but what usually follows is a rush of excitement. Like you’ve just seen a celebrity. Or is that just me?

Well, our latest research helps explain this occurrence — to some degree.

For young children aged 3 to 8, relationships with others — especially with educators — are a big deal. In our exploration of what belonging means to them, we found it has little to do with buildings or locations. Instead, it’s about relationships, emotions, and shared experiences in those spaces.

Our study, published in the Australian Journal of Psychology, looked at how children in this age group understand and experience belonging in educational settings. With the help of their parents, children shared drawings and stories about their experiences of belonging.

One takeaway finding was that belonging wasn’t just about the physical space — it’s about how you feel in that space. As one 8-year-old captured it perfectly: “When you feel happy at school it makes you feel you are at home.”

Young children’s sense of belonging has a powerful impact. It shapes their current educational journey and contributes to long-term well-being. We know from existing research that feeling a sense of belonging at school is linked to outcomes that stretch well into adulthood — from mental health to workforce participation.

What stood out in our study was just how much belonging came from everyday moments. A 7-year-old participant said, in relation to his sense of belonging: “When I’m outside — my friends help me build homes for tigers.” This kind of unstructured, natural interaction creates belonging for children. It’s social, imaginative, and deeply relational.

Children also felt a strong sense of connection to particular places — not because of the buildings themselves, but because of how those places made them feel. One shared, “The library is my safe space.”

What surprised us most was how aware children were of their role in helping others belong. “Everyone has to look after each other,” said a 4-year-old. And from an 8-year-old: “It means that we’re all part of the school, and we all follow the rules, be safe, respectful and being a learner.” Even at this young age, children saw belonging as something shared — something they helped create, not just something they received.

The presence of animals — class pets and school dogs — also featured in children’s stories. One child explained, “There’s a dog because dogs kinda help you feel like you belong.” Another said, “When I help the class pet called Lucie.” These interactions gave children a chance to show care, take responsibility, and feel connected — a different but powerful expression of belonging.

We also noticed age differences in how children described belonging. Younger children (ages three to five) focused on the here and now — “Have fun,” “Doing activities,” “Playing.” Older children (six to eight) talked more about responsibilities, inclusion, and helping others.

So, what does this mean for those leading and shaping early education?

It suggests the need to:

• Create flexible spaces that children can personalise and feel ownership over.
• Make time for unstructured, imaginative, and peer-led interaction.
• Appreciate the importance of children feeling safe, comfortable, and emotionally secure.
• Acknowledge the central role of relationships — with peers, educators, and others in the environment.
• Recognise that children are active contributors to their own and others’ sense of belonging.

Most of all, our research challenges the idea that belonging needs to be delivered through formal programs.

One 6-year-old said it simply: “When people help you, that means you belong.” That’s not something you can script — it comes from real, lived experience.

These big ideas from little voices don’t just apply to early learning. When we take children’s perspectives seriously, we gain a richer understanding of how belonging actually works. And when we see belonging through their eyes, we’re better placed to create spaces where every child feels like they truly belong.

Acknowledgments: Thank you to the authors of the study — Emily Berger, Louise McLean, Erin Leif, William Warton, and David Tuck. I am also grateful to the parents who generously made time to support their children’s participation. And to the children — thank you. Your drawings, words, and stories gave this research its heart.